Turning Twenty-Two
Inspired by Abhi Vyas's post under the same title, I decided to write a few thoughts as I turn twenty two.
Incrementing my age counter by 1 no longer provides much meaning to me, but some realizations do seem to come with age.
Birthdays
I've never found birthday celebrations to be particularly exciting. Cake, candles, and cameras. These are worthwhile traditions but not what make me feel special.
I'd much rather enjoy moments that feel less forced, doing the things I love. Like when...
Pen strikes paper and I release coherent thoughts from my mind I feel like I've evolved after accomplishing something new Reality exceeds expectations and anxiety is let go Someone I love tells me why I matter to them, accompanied with a hug. Birthdays give you permission to prioritize yourself to have fun moments like these.
Friends
I made a conscious decision a few years ago to pursue creativity over productivity. That is, I aim to express who I am instead of striving towards others' metrics of achievement.
With less emphasis on society's opinion of me, I have prioritized relationships that matter. I used to go to school thinking I could please everyone. Now I just focus on a few friends.
How they describe me: curious, ambitious, quirky, caring, striving. I obtained these attributes largely derived from spending time with them. Each friend adds a little (or a lot) to my character, causing me to grow.
Since the people I am most exposed to have significant impact on my life, I now try to only spend energy on friends who prioritize our friendship. "Priority" is just another way of saying "you matter to me."
Me
Part of getting older is accepting who I am—the parts of me that probably won't change much more with time.
I really want to do everything possible with my life. I can forsee a nearly infinite set of future versions of me. To describe a few:
a startup founder who fights hard to build a product that people want a teacher who inspires deep curiosity in his students a creative who writes on his own volition Just one body cannot conquer it all. And my body is far from being capable of everything—certainly not everything all at once.
My biology and experiences may limit my future, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Like a good friend, these constraints provide something to lean on.
I used to be afraid to be quirky. I always had a different idea of what people seem to call "fun." I worried about not having many friends. And I hated myself for not reaching my potential in every discipline.
Only time can unleash some realizations: I'm gifted by what I will never be capable of. That's what makes me who I am.
As I turn twenty-two, I'm learning how to be me.